For the purposes of clarity the Indians will be skins, and the Cowboys will be shirts. There will be a 15 minute intermission after the third scalping. Both sides are encouraged to shoot to kill, as no one likes a pussy. Also, all the ammunition has been replaced with cornflakes, if you can kill a man with a cornflake, he deserves to die. There will be no chanting or singing, as this makes the Cowboys uncomfortable and, as they are required to be superstitious, this instills an unease in them that could be construed as an advantage for the Indians. The contest will take place in an arena that is still under construction, but when finished will be able to hold the sum total of our stupidity. There will be no dome, as domes are too metaphoric. When the fat lady begins to sing take your places. Go.