Opossum Update

So after four nights of trying  I finally out smarted the marsupial in question. I don’t think he was too happy about it, but hey life is full of disappointments, even for opossums.  Thankfully I found a home for him (I’m calling him a him. I have no idea how to sex a opossum, and him is correct grammatically [yes in a very patriarchal way]).  So thanks to Sherry for providing him fresh garbage compost and a yard that should be suitable. On a side note if you look at the pictures closely you will see that Asheville City Council candidate Gordon Smith seems to have already locked up the caged marsupial vote (Dear Carl Mumpower I am sure the rabid raccoon vote is yours for the taking).

godspeed, Fred (I named him Fred).


The curious incident of the opossum in the night

So I am sitting typing away at the keyboard when I notice the sound of a cat scratching in the litter box coming from the kitchen. This nothing new as that’s where one of the litterboxes is, and I think nothing of it, until I happen to realize that all three of our cats are within two feet of me (Hank on top of the monitor, Kaurah on top of the PC tower, and Simon on my lap…their usual spots) and I think to myself  “well, that ain’t right” and walk into the kitchen to investigate. Wherein I find a cute young opossum digging in the cat box, at which point I say, out loud to myself “That’s a fucking opossum!”  I shut the door (the cats don’t even seem to notice, which is funny because if another cat comes within 50 feet of the house they seem to notice that) and grab a broom, wake my wife, realize that I have nothing on my feet (I don’t want to face down a opossum barefoot) and realize I have no idea how to get a opossum out of the house, or how it got in in the first place.  I didn’t think trying to pick it up would be an especially bright idea…so, apparently during my fruitless brain storming session, the little fella went back down into the basement (I had left the door open) which is where I am assuming he/she came from in the first place.  I guess tomorrow I find a way to trap it, and find it a new place to live.  Anyone want a opossum?

Automatic #135


salvation gets tiring after awhile.

I just wanted to lie down in the bones of your memory, maybe walk around for a while

kick the tires

stretch out

get some work done.


Thanks to this fabulous new Mormon underwear unexplained erections are down 30 %.


I am a silence that tunnels forever

or a forest in which all the trees have been replaced with Bette Davis lookalikes…I can never remember which.

I once discovered a skull in my back yard. I was digging a hole to China, and there it was tucked in the dirt and ash. I was 8 and it was ancient.


Four is too hard.


the world needs more Hindu’s


You should be prepared for failure.


It all moves under the surface, or is understated.  Like that time you found yourself in Kansas for no particular reason. You knew you went to bed in New Hampshire, but you awoke in Kansas, and everything about you was Kansas.  Your Kansas hands, Your Kansas thighs, your Kansas lips…Oh, how I did want to explore Kansas.  But you know you, with your hunger for flying, and my fear, how you had moved on into deeper locals.  everything about became legend, I couldn’t even find you in the book. So I stayed behind and thought about that night in Kansas city, after the disaster, when everything reeked of smoke, rott, and blood, and I found you leaning there like a broken tree, and I tried to put you back together.  I tried and tired. Such a foul machine is love.

Bullet Pointed Biography

  • I hope to be reincarnated as Nick Caves singing voice.
  • I spent 40 years wandering in a parking lot just south of Phoenix, the cars they went on for miles.
  • I am entirely responsible for New Coke.
  • most of my jokes are at least 20 years old.
  • I rarely know what the correct date is.
  • I fought in Napoleons Army, and lost a toe to gangrene somewhere in Prussia. I’m sure it’s still there. Would you look for me? I am sure it misses me.
  • I am at work on a time machine.
  • My basement is full blue ruin
  • I spent nearly a hundred years living as Count Vronsky, then the door closed.
  • I rarely eat breakfast.
  • I have never been stabbed.
  • I have never delivered a pizza.
  • I have never understood ______.
  • I enjoy a good sandwich.
  • I spent the spring perched on the lip of a branch almost budding.
  • I make a fine pie.

And now…a song:

Automatic #67

  • In the museum of Historical Oddities and Curiosities you can view _____’s angst in a ball jar screwed tight with a tattered blue ribbon tight around its neck
  • At night I sleep in a cocoon of old band-aids.  The blue light of the TV is not a dream but an instruction
  • But of what?
  • Something to stuff in the spaces in between, to lick fire out the mouths of babes
  • We are dramatically reducing our size
  • All our heroes are made of rain
  • I’m worried about the lack of heat
  • They say that’s the first thing to go
  • I want to stretch our exhaustion out, wrap it around us like a band
  • did I say exhaustion?
  • something is hidden beyond the doorway, you can see the light filtering in
  • someone is making shadow puppets in the back of your skull
  • don’t worry, there’s enough ruin to go around
  • specifically I was speaking of the intrigue of melancholy
  • sometimes you go for days without sight of land
  • someone is in the basement tunneling
  • I am feeling festive, are you feeling festive?
  • life is impossible without music
  • he couldn’t stop staring at her lips
  • what use is it if wont cure narcolepsy
  • the food had been prepared, the table set, the wine poured, but we couldn’t remember if we had invited the guests
  • His dream had always been to move out to the country and start a farm
  • She was far more complicated that her wardrobe indicated
  • I found a door in the woods I walked through it into still deeper woods. This went on for sometime: door, woods door, woods. I was beginning to suspect something
  • the plots became interchangeable after awhile
  • I couldn’t find you through all the smoke
  • the women were smuggling dynamite out of the camp in the fingernails
  • the landscaping is all wrong
  • I placed a yawn in the back of your throat.