Things about me that may or may not be true Vol. whatever

  • For nearly thirty years I lived under an assumed name, yet I remain unassuming.
  • I once fought a cage match with Don Rickles.
  • I took out a personals ad and answered it myself; it didn’t work out.
  • My work on the Manhattan Project is still a state secret.
  • I’ve climbed the Matterhorn.
  • I always carry a .44 slug in my right hip pocket. I found it in a mens room at a carnival on the Jersey shore when I was 16, I’ve always thought it would one day bring me good luck. I still have hope.
  • I have a reoccurring dream wherein I have been elected pope, but the pope hat is too big for my head and keeps falling down onto my shoulders, and it is really heavy and no one will lift it off me.
  • As a child I had stigmata
  • I’m worried that my love of the bourgeois interferes with my passion for the proletariat.
  • I want to have a sex dream about Kafka.
  • Everywhere you look was once a sea.
  • I’m afraid.
  • If you were to remove my skull you would find another underneath, and another, and another. A series of skulls, and fog– lots of fog.
  • I invented the French kiss.
  • I once worked for a man who would go from town to town selling strophes. It was my job to sit in the cart and keep it from blowing away.
  • I was the first theorize a fifth state of matter.
  • I hold forth my thumb to blot out the world.
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