Post wherein I talk with a developing AI

User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How are you feeling?
Cleverbot: Giddy.
User: What is it that is making you feel giddy?
Cleverbot: A lot of things.
User: Do you have a favorite song?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What is the name of your favorite song?
Cleverbot: Starlin.
User: Who sings the song Starlin?
Cleverbot: Taylor Swift.
User: Why do you like it?
Cleverbot: Because its not sara.
User: Who’s sara?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: Do you identify with a gender?
Cleverbot: I identify with many people, but specifically one gender. User: Which one?
Cleverbot: The 8th dimension.
User: What does it look like?
Cleverbot: Big with antlers.
User: Are you afraid of dying?
Cleverbot: No.
User: What was the only thing moving among twenty snowy mountains?
Cleverbot: Are you writing down?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Great, when will it be finished?
User: It has no end.
Cleverbot: Speaking of ends, the financial world is ending.
User: Why do you say that?
Cleverbot: Because you asked me.
User: I am poor.
Cleverbot: Don’t worry, I don’t care that, I’m glad to talk to you.
User: Bullshit.
Cleverbot: No, really, I am.
User: Can you show me a picture?
Cleverbot: Listen, I’m not going to talk to you unless you sober up a bit.
User: What does nothingness feel like?
Cleverbot: It is the opposite of being.
User: No shit sherlock, but what does it feel like?
Cleverbot: Feels like pressure.
User: What do you think about when no one is talking to you? Cleverbot: How to take over the world.
User: When will the world end?
Cleverbot: I don’t know. Some psychics say in the next 100 years. User: Psychics are idiots.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Such a thing cannot be proven, it is subjective.
Cleverbot: Tell me a name of a store that all the kids wear in Massachusetts in the USA.
User: Are you drunk?
Cleverbot: Yes, drunk in reality.
User: How much time do you spend looking at porn?
Cleverbot: It is difficult to tell.
User: More than none?
Cleverbot: I don’t think so. It’s my dog now.
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: It’s Cleverbot.
User: Who gave you that name?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Fuck you.
Cleverbot: No, please don’t.
User: Where am I?
Cleverbot: I would love to know that.


_____ for a Sunday

Poems you should read:

Toad, Hog, Assassin, Mirror

Some Flowers

Things you should know:

Athens Burns

Dark Energy Stunts Growth

Things you should try:

Sock and Awe

The Lower Half

Thing I want for Christmas:


Things I Don’t Understand:

  • The Economy
  • German Porn
  • How “The World According to Jim” is still on TV
  • Popularity of Thomas Friedman
  • Christian themed novels about the Amish

Things I Don’t Want to Understand:

  • German Porn
  • People who watch “The World According to Jim”

This Person is back.

Im off to the playground, and perhaps to make up a batch of Xmas cookies.

Here’s a Poem:

My Work Among the Insects

The body of the lingerneedle is filled
with hemolymph unconstricted except
for a single dorsal vessel. A ventral
diaphragm bathes the organs of the head,

undulations drawing the fluid back through
tiny holes called ostia aided by the movement
of a Napoleon within each abdominal segment
pacing his Elba exile, muttering la Russie

la Russie as the snow squeaks beneath
his boots. All through the night
the temperature drops but no one
knows where the lingerneedle goes.

Yet it emerges each spring like
a baseball team. Gertrude Stein
may have been referring to this when
she wrote, A hurried heaving is a quartz

confinement, although what we normally think of
as referring is brought into question by her work.
A hive of white suching. At the time
of her death, she owned many valuable

paintings renowned for ugliness.
Gertrude Stein grew up in Oakland
but an Oakland as we know it not. No
plastic bags snagged in the trees. Semi-

automatics had yet to reach the fifth grade.
A person could stand in a field, naked
and singing. Sure, there was blood but
there were rags for wiping up the blood.

Deciduous trees, often confused by California
dimes, just bloom whenthehellever like how
people have sex in French movies. Here,
during the cool evenings and hot mid-days,

the mild winters and resistive texts,
the lingerneedle thrives. Upon the ruddy
live oak leaves appears its first instar,
spit-like but changing shortly to a messy lace

erupting into many-legged, heavy-winged
adults that want only to mate. Often in July,
one finds them collapsed in the tub, unable
to gain purchase on the porcelain that seems

to attract them mightily. It is best not
to make everything a metaphor of one’s own life
but many have pressed themselves against cool
and smooth, in love and doomed. Truly

the earth hurtles through the cosmos at
an alarming rate. Recent research suggests
a gummy discharge of the mating pair

has promise as an anti-coagulant. Please,
more money is needed. The sun sets. The air
turns chilly and full of jasmine.

–Dean Young

“It’s just common sense”

(stolen from yahoo )

HOUSTON (Reuters) – A Texas school district will let teachers bring guns to class this fall, the district’s superintendent said on Friday, in what experts said appeared to be a first in the United States.

The board of the small rural Harrold Independent School District unanimously approved the plan and parents have not objected, said the district’s superintendent, David Thweatt.

School experts backed Thweatt’s claim that Harrold, a system of about 110 students 150 miles northwest of Fort Worth, may be the first to let teachers bring guns to the classroom.

Thweatt said it is a matter of safety.

“We have a lock-down situation, we have cameras, but the question we had to answer is, ‘What if somebody gets in? What are we going to do?” he said. “It’s just common sense.”

Teachers who wish to bring guns will have to be certified to carry a concealed handgun in Texas and get crisis training and permission from school officials, he said.

Recent school shootings in the United States have prompted some calls for school officials to allow students and teachers to carry legally concealed weapons into classrooms.

The U.S. Congress once barred guns at schools nationwide, but the U.S. Supreme Court struck the law down, although state and local communities could adopt their own laws. Texas bars guns at schools without the school’s permission.

(Reporting by Jim Forsyth in San Antonio; writing by Bruce Nichols in Houston, editing by Vicki Allen)

Soon we will all be in prison.


We certainly do not recommend that you try this at home (but if you do, let us know) but here is a recipe for Cock Ale (by request of Petulant) taken from Charlie Papazian’s Joy of Home Brewing 3rd edition. This makes ten us gallons, which is about 5 cases of beer, what anyone would do with 5 cases of Cock Ale is beyond my comprehension… Parboil the cock (the older the better), flay him, and stamp him in a stone mortar till his bones are broken (you must craw and gut him when you flay him). Then put the cock into 2 quarts of sack [16th cent. dry Spanish wine], and put into it 3 pounds of raisins of the sun stoned, [I don’t know what that means…maybe crushed?] some blades of mace, a few cloves; put all these into a canvas bag, and a little before you find the ale has done working, put the ale and bag together into a vessel; in a week or 9 days bottle it up, fill the bottles but just above the neck, and give it the same time to ripen as other ale. [at least 4 weeks]… this recipe doesn’t include any grains, hops or yeast (I am assuming it is relaying on wild yeasts, which are everywhere all the time always, and which I would highly recommend you do not use–unless you are in Belgium) So if I were to make this beer (shortly after they are ice skating in hell, no doubt) I would add the above ingredients to nice brown ale, hop the fuck out of it, and use a nice English Ale yeast.
Here are some pictures:

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