Bullet Pointed Biography

  • I hope to be reincarnated as Nick Caves singing voice.
  • I spent 40 years wandering in a parking lot just south of Phoenix, the cars they went on for miles.
  • I am entirely responsible for New Coke.
  • most of my jokes are at least 20 years old.
  • I rarely know what the correct date is.
  • I fought in Napoleons Army, and lost a toe to gangrene somewhere in Prussia. I’m sure it’s still there. Would you look for me? I am sure it misses me.
  • I am at work on a time machine.
  • My basement is full blue ruin
  • I spent nearly a hundred years living as Count Vronsky, then the door closed.
  • I rarely eat breakfast.
  • I have never been stabbed.
  • I have never delivered a pizza.
  • I have never understood ______.
  • I enjoy a good sandwich.
  • I spent the spring perched on the lip of a branch almost budding.
  • I make a fine pie.

And now…a song:



Eventually the pilgrims came down
From the mount, and we ate them
Cuz we were hungry and lazy
The night disappeared behind the earth
The sun like a black egg on the horizon
Shelia took it as a sign to undress and prepare
Herself for the coming of the next big thing.
We watched her as we gnawed on the
Bones of pilgrims

I had been forced to play a game of chess against the warden in front of the other inmates. If I won, we could all go home. If I lost, it was off to the firing squad. My immediate tactic was to stall. But the warden was a wily one, and he pressed the issue. The pawns were fingers and the queen was the wardens wife. I had her in my pocket, I knew he wouldn’t be able to take
The sun had turned everything a sodium/sulfur orange. We had been given instructions to search a field. One woman found a bone. Another an old shoe. The instructions arrive in the mail, and no one thinks anything of it.

Topic O’ the Day:

What are the minimal elements required for a story to be a story?

At what point does a collection of words become a narrative (narrative in the loosest possible sense)?

Is a narrative required for a story to be a story?

Are definitions helpful or obfuscating?

feel free to leave your opinions in the comments…don’t be shy, I won’t be grading you (perhaps secretly, but you risk no public humiliations here…at least not from me…your wife/husband/partner/children/neighbor/cat may laugh at you, but she was probably going to do that anyway)